Funny jokes.?

What are some funny jokes? er youtube videos?

Funny jokes.?-cool myspace

Lemon Squeeze

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon

entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have

sinned."

The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad,

passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons

into a glass and then drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."

Funny jokes.?

-(myspace icons www.myspace.com)

Subject: Martyrs

Two mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son, Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now."

"Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now, though," mum confides.

"Oh, so sad, dear," says the other.

And this is my second son, Kalid. He would be 21."

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily. "He had such curly hair when he was born."

"He's a martyr too," says mum quietly.

"Oh, gracious me," says the other.

"And this is my third son, my baby, my beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers.

"Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."

"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says,

"They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Hi Sweetie,

I personally don't have any, %26amp; when I hear em, forget em! But u can look it up on the web: Funny Jokes.

Sorry!

LOL Diana D
In the category jokes and riddles on this website, there is some really funny jokes. Here is one I just know that hasn't been on yahoo answers yet.

There once was a man from China (or u can substitute any non english speaking country here). He had just immigrated to the U.S and didn't know any English exept for one word, "yes". So the man decided to go around his town to pick up a few words.

First he went to a restraunt and everybody was saying "forks and knives". The man ordered his meal and left. Then, for dessert, the man went into a candy store, where a little girl pointed to him and accused him of stealing her lollipop. She screamed, "he stole my lollipop!". So of course the man left in a hurry.

Next he thought he should buy a tv at the local electric appliance store. The man figured he could learn more English this way. But when he walked in, he saw they were filming a commercial, because everybody was singing, "plug it in, plug it in!" By now the man was tired and decided to go home. As he took a shortcut through an alley, he saw a dead man laying in the trash. The police pulled up and asked the man if he killed the other guy.

Of course, the Chinese man responded "yes"

Next the officer asked him what the murder weapon was.

The man responded " forks and knives"

Now the officer needed the man's motive. He asked the man why he killed the dead guy.

The Chinese man responded " He stole my lollipop"

The officer was now furious and the electric chair was legal in this state.

He asked the man if he would like the electric chair.

The man responded "PLUG IT IN, PLUG IT IN!"

That's on of my favorites. Ask around there are many more. Go to your local library and get joke and riddle books!

Hope I helped!